Grandpa's very ill.

Well unfortunately my grandpa isn't doing as well as I previously thought, he is back in hospital with heart failure, the doctors have apparantly told my mother that it's probably just a matter of days now.
The doctors though have not told my grandpa this because they fear of they tell him he will give up hope and stop trying to get better, although he's already stopped eating, it's looking pretty bleak right now, I feel terrible for my mother, it's not even been a year since my grandma passed away from a stroke.

I'm really angry with myself at the moment because I can't bring myself to leave the house to see him because of my damn agoraphobia, even though I know he could pass away any day now and this may be the last time to see him I just can't bring myself to leave the house, damn, I hate myself... I don't even know if I'll be able to make it to the funeral (if the worst comes to the worst).

I dunno if I'll be doing much drawing over the next couple of weeks, it depends on how everything is, I may do some drawing to take my mind of things, but I'm feeling pretty depressed at the moment and my drawing motivation is right down, anyway, I think that's all I have to write about,

Stay Beautiful,

Aissa.